This should be good

This year that is.

I am a person who likes to plan ahead. Not just for the day, or even the month, but years at a time I plan. Does my life always go how I want it to? NO. But that doesn't stop me from putting pencil marks on the calender.

With the start of a new year I have heard several people reflecting about 2010. I'll spare you. But there have been significant events that have happened for the people in my family like this girl

and this one

Obviously 2010 was a very successful and happy year for my family and a lot of good things have happened. But in the midst of these happy events I have felt like someone sitting on the front row cheering on my sisters. I guess it's a good thing I love them so much :). I don't want this to sound bitter, because I'm not. I have loved being apart of these events, and I definitely do not enjoy being the center of attention...at all. I guess what I am trying to say is that in 2011, I have things planned and goals to reach. It will be my events and milestones that are celebrated this year. [Along with many other people in my family]

Hopefully that didn't sound bitter or jealous at all...it wasn't meant to be!

So I guess I'll give you a little insight to what all of these happy events will be...

1. I'm starting my last year of college in one week. That means A LOT of hours, A LOT of hard work, a student teaching in the fall.

2. I'll turn 21 in February. I really like birthdays, especially mine.

3. This is probably the one that I am most excited about.....

This boy is coming HOOOOMMMMMEEEEEEE! 9 months to go :)

4. In December I'll finally graduate!

5. Hopefully before this year is over [and if not, then early January] I'll leave for my mission!

Just thinking about all of these things is slightly overwhelming. It still seems like most of these things are still far distant but as I've heard before, "time flies on the wings of lightning." So I will do my best to enjoy it before it's gone.

Thankful

• My mom saved my butt today....thanks mom!
• I got to go out with the missionaries today…twice :)
• I randomly had a long chat with a guy from Willie's ward, and strangely enough, it was just what I needed at the end of this STRESSFUL day.
• I am thankful that my sister randomly calls me to tell me about different things that happened during her day.
• I’m BEYOND thankful that I get to go home tomorrow.

Thankful: Day 1

I made it a goal at the beginning of this year to write down 5 things that I am thankful for everyday, and I have missed several days, but I've done better than I thought. With Thanksgiving coming up, and the whole holiday season approaching, I need to start doing a better job. So here you go...

-I am thankful for MY FAMILY. Oh my goodness, I can't even begin to tell you how much I love them.

-I am thankful for candles that make my apartment smell like Christmas.

-Speaking of Christmas, I am so thankful for Christmas music, and that I live with someone who doesn't mind me listening to it before Thanksgiving.

-I'm thankful that Willie's on a mission, and that he write me.

-I'm thankful for what I know.

-I taught my first lesson ever today, to a bunch of first graders and it went really, really well. I am beyond thankful for that.

Overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed and stressed. That's me. Those are probably the perfect words right about now. It's a sad story I'll admit, but there's no getting around it. I have projects and homework and clinical assignments coming out of my ears. How am I supposed to get all of this stuff done in 5 weeks? Believe me, I will be one happy girl when this semester is over, but it's daunting to think that I only have 5 short weeks to get so much work done. The saddest part about all of this is probably the fact that I haven't even procrastinated that much this semester. I'll go ahead and say that that's a bad habit that will probably take me lifetimes to overcome...but this semester despite the occasional "I'll do that tomorrow, or next week," I've actually stayed on top of all my classes pretty well. But the work WON'T. STOP. COMING. I suppose it will just make winter break that much sweeter. I'm done complaining.

On to better news, I came home from institute last night and of course got on facebook and I had this a message from someone whose name I didn't recognize. A little strange. But I opened it anyways, and I'm glad I did. Here is what it said:

Jordan,

I meant to come home from the baptism on Sunday and send you a message right then. I wanted to tell you and Elder Vaughn's family that although I am VERY familiar with the very cool and suave Elder Vaughn - the football playing, cookie eating, chicken biscuit loving Elder Vaughn -- I witnessed the sweetest, most tender testimony given of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I saw him share with emotion his testimony of the truthfulness of this gospel. It was something you can never get enough of. I witnessed the priesthood in action and felt the spirit confirm the truth of all that he said, all that I felt. We love Elder Vaughn.

I am so glad that someone took the time to send me that. It pretty much made my day :) She also told me that while she was typing me that message, her son came in and apparently had just gotten a call from the elders about transfers, and that Willie and his companion are both staying in the ward. That would be so weird, but this will make 10 months that Willie has been in the exact same ward. crazy! But I guess it's a good thing because he loves it, and apparently they love him.

One year

I have only one word.

UNBELIEVABLE.

It has been ONE YEAR since Willie left for Utah. I remember being in the airport [being quite dramatic] thinking that I would never be able to make it 2 whole years. It feels like I've blinked a couple of times and it's half way over. Unbelievable. Time goes so quickly.

Since I'm on the subject of Willie, I'll just give a quick update :)

They just had transfers, but he still didn't get moved. He's staying in the West Hills ward, where he has been since February! He loves the ward, he loves his companions, he loves the people that he's teaching, he loves his mission president, and he LOVES serving.

Do you have qualities about yourself that bug you? Does that even make sense? I am constantly comparing myself to other people and it drives me INSANE...but I still do it. I make a conscience effort to stop doing it, but I just can't help myself sometimes. The whole point of this, is that I have seen Willie change through letters, like you wouldn't even believe. He has grown so much in just a short year. So I look at the difference in him, and then I look at myself and I feel like I'm the same person that I was a year ago. That's not a very good thing. I wasn't a bad person a year ago...my point is that I don't feel like I've made any noticeable progress, and it's a little frustrating. I'm sure I have. I have been through experiences that I couldn't have gone through without changing and becoming a little stronger. I think my main problem here, is that I'm looking at myself compared to others. I think if I really took some time [and took everyone else out of the equation] and thought about all that's happened in the past year, and who I was, and who I am now, I would see some differences.

All I know for sure, is I still have a lot of work to do. I supposed it's a good thing I have another year to focus on just me.

Bored.

I'm bored. So I'll just write about whatever come to my head.

I made it through the first two weeks of school! I still like all my classes and professors.

I heard a really funny/scary story yesterday about a girl (who happened to be on crutches) getting hit by a SUV. My roommate witnessed it first hand. I know that shouldn't be funny, maybe it's just the way Becca tells it.

I get to go HOME for the long weekend and I'm so excited. I don't know why, I was just home last weekend...I'm just a homebody.

Yesterday was Willie's birthday! It was really weird, but we still celebrated :) Hopefully he had a really good day.

I am about to start filling out the application for my yearlong internship/student teaching. I can't believe I'm old enough to be doing that. It's so weird. It seems like I JUST graduated high school, and I only have a little over a year of college left. So, so weird.

A few months ago, I started making a list of 100 goals for my life. I know that sounds kind of funny, but I read it in a book and it sounded like a good idea, so I've been doing that. It's so much harder than you would think. I've finally made it to around 80, and I'm all out of ideas. But I'll probably post some of those when I finish. It's kind of funny what you can think of when you have to come up with so many.

The whole reason I'm bored is because I'm waiting on Carly, so that we can go to the gym (because she's getting married in a month...we usually wait until the last minute...this is no exception :). But she just called, so I've got to go.

:)

Working on me

The start of school always causes me to do a little self reflection. Sometimes I don't even want to think about all the things I need to work on, but with a new beginning, I can't help it. One of my favorite classes this semester is a class that teaches me how to teach writing to elementary school kids. I love to write, and I actually write every single day but my professor challenged us to follow 7 rules as we write.

Rule #1: Keep your hand (or your fingers) moving.

Rule #2: Lose control

Rule #3: Be specific

Rule #4: Don't think

Rule #5: Don't worry about punctuation, spelling, grammar

Rule #6: You are free to write the worst junk in America

Rule #7: Go for the jugular

I love my professor! Obviously, these are rules for just free writing, but if you follow them, they make such a difference. So, that's what I'm going to do with this post. I'm going write whatever is in my head. Sorry if it doesn't make sense, sorry if it's the worst junk in America, sorry if it's boring....feel free to stop reading if it is....

Happies:

-Believe it or not, I LOVE school this semester. My professors are great, the classes are actually interesting and useful. I'm pretty sure this is the first semester of my college career that I've enjoyed every single class...it's pretty great.

-There was a talk in sacrament meeting this past week that talked about studying the scriptures and I've been trying to get better at that. I usually just read them and I always get something out of the time that I spend doing that, but Sunday evening I was looking back through some of the things that I wrote down at church and I decided that I was really going to STUDY. So I started with a prayer and did my best, and it was AMAZING. That's all I have to say about that. :)

-My sister is getting married in 45 days! It's pretty exciting. Speaking of my sister, I saved a pretty good bit of money at Target today thanks to her.

-I get to babysit Caiden on Friday. I haven't seen him in so long. It actually hasn't been that long, but it feels like it's been forever. I miss little Caidy-butt.

-I have a really cute apartment thanks to Rebecca.

-Willie has been gone for a year...well, actually just 11 months, but that's close enough.

-There are more happies, I just can't think of them right now.

Crappies:

-I'm really bad at parking my car, and backing it up.

-On Monday's I'm in class for 9 hours.

-I can't find a good planner anywhere. I'm so lost without one.

-Thankfully, I don't have very many crappies.

So let's go back to the whole, Willie's almost been gone for a year thing. That's crazy! I can't believe how fast time has gone. He LOVES everything about what he is doing. He's still in his second area, he has been there FOR-EV-ER. I guess it's a good thing he likes it. His birthday is coming up and I have NO IDEA what to get him....no idea. Seriously, I got nothing. I think my favorite thing about this whole experience is reading his letters and e-mails and seeing how much he has changed and how much his testimony has grown. It's not very often that a person changes that drastically in such a short time, and I know that I definitely haven't. I have a lot to work on, lots of thing to improve. But that's what so great about this life, we have so many opportunities to change and grow and become better. We don't have to do it all in one day, or one year, it's just a constant tiny change from day to day. Trying to do better....that's all we have to do. It's pretty cool to think about.

That's all. If anyone made it this far, I apologize, because this probably was the worst junk in America. But I don't care :)